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The Wenches’ Drinking Song
Words & music © 1999 Ginger Hulsopple This one is a little unusual. When the Fan Song was written, the melody stuck in my mind – and the result was that two days later, I filked my own song! I guess that is what makes me a musical ferret! I first wrote verses for my HFS role play group but now I have also written verses for the Personnae encountered at Scarborough Faire, Hawkwood Fantasy Faire, Excalibur Faire, and for some of the musicians and the Ren Clans and Groups. Join me at the pub and sing along!Am E7
So here's to the ladies who drink with the men
Am Dm Am E7 Am
Take heed of the mug that is lifted by a Wen-----CH!C G
Oh! Tom he had an elbow that could hoist a keg of beer
Am E7
And never you saw him, lest a pub was near...
Am G F E7
But Molly, she bested him in a drinking bout
Am E7 Am
Now he's hoisting a babe so dear!Now Raymond was a man who preferred his whiskey neat
And a gallon or more was to him no feat
Then he chanced to be challenged by fair Ellie, you see
Now he’s sitting in a family seat!Young Angus - he was strong & he was so fond of mead
Many a golden drop of that nectar he freed
Till a buxom wench did beat him at the cup
Now he has five mouths to feed!Young Colin was lieutenant in a regimental band
All were amazed at how much whiskey he could stand
Till a sweet young rose put him under the board
Now they’re walking hand in handOh! Niccola was a Borgia and he certainly could drink
No one could out-do him when the glasses did clink
He was brought down low by a brown haired lass
Now he's working to keep her in mink!Now Rooke, he was Lord Mayor with a tankard oh so large
At a challenge in the pub, victory was in the cards
Till the time his Lady wife drank him out the back door
Now he cringes when he hears her say “Charge ……it!”There was a young Frenchman and his name it was Henri
His years they were too few, so they gave him milk, you see
But a winsome young lass still outdid him at the cup
Now she’s wearing a rose from he!Oh Seymour was a scoundrel. ‘Twas said about the town
When it came to lifting mugs, he was the best from all around
Till Delia the wench took him down to the floor
It’s been a week and we haven’t heard a sound!Sir Charles was seen about the court, a Lady on his arm
And at the pub he quaffed the brews and never came to harm
Till he vied with a wench who drank until he dropped
You could say that he “bought” the farm!Oh Steven had a tavern – It was bonnie! It was braw!
At closing time, he’d tip his cup & then out drink them all!
But a buxom wench, she stood when he could not
Now she’s spending all his profits at the mall!Now Henry is our mighty King – the guardian of all the land
When time it came for tipping cups, before him none could stand
Till a bonnie braw lass named Ann “Boleyn-ed” him down
Now she’s sitting at his right handVerses for Excalibur Faire
Sir Michael was a knight so bold, and he certainly cold drink
No one could out-do him when the glasses they did clink
He was brought down low by a brown haired lass
Now he’s working to keep her in mink!Oh, Iggy was a Dragon True, but they say he ate no meat
But you haven’t heard the story of the drinkers he did beat
But all that ended when he caught a glimpse of “tail”
‘Twas a Dragon Lass and he’s happy in defeat!Now Merlin is a wizard who amazes one and all
And when it comes to chugging ale, his stature it is tall
But his powers came up short when fair Morgan called his shot
Ye gods! Man! They’ve drunken it all!!!!An outstanding lad at any pub, the one they call “Jack Scratch”
At making pints of ale go POOF, he never met his match
Until the night sweet Mordred took him down
You see – she considered him the “perfect catch” – for now…A goodly knight is Lancelot when to the pub he goes
A Champion of the Goblet Jousts, as well the kingdom knows
But he shudder at the rumors that a Lady, oh, so rare
Did topple him and now they’re…. At a fare…yes.. that’s it… uh-ohOh! Arthur is the Briton King. His words we all do heed
A worthy foe with sword in hand – even deadlier with Mead!
Till the morn he awoke with a head that hurt a lot
He lot the match to the Lass of Camelot!For our Musical Friends
There was an Irish bard who loved his beer so well
T’was his pay, you see, for singing & for the tales that he would tell
But a young colleen with a voice so honey sweet –
She snitched his ale and now he’s hearing bells! (you know the kind…)Now Brian was a Scotsman and belligerent was he
At the drinking of the ale he was an awesome sicht tae see
Till a tartaned maid did beat him at the punch
Now a happy hieland lassie is she!There was a group of lads, “The Rogues” they called the band
At the pipin’ and the drinking they were known throughout the land
But a group of fairin’ wenches did beat them, cup and drum
Now they’re happily playin’ underneath their thumbs!There is a group of pirates we know as the Corsairs
At singing song and drinking rum, they’re the best at all the faires
Until the bawdy portside wenches delivered a broadside
Now the times they greet the Jolly Roger’s rare!Young Ian was a lad who could do the highland fling
And he’d dance a circle round when he heard the ale man sing
Till a high kicking lass outdid him step and cup
Now he’s paying for her pretty little ring!Oh, Hawk, he was a Bedlam Bard and he always did his part
To keep the kingdoms’ kegs so dry – he gave it all his heart!
Until he met two wenchs clad in fine “Black Leather Bands”
Now he’s sandwiched ‘tween a pair of Tudor Tarts!Now Cedric was a might man, a Bard of Bedlam, too
He was the one whose “pub-ly” feats no one man could out-do
But his title fell when a buxom celtic lass
Topped his best – now she’s playing his…. Kazoo!
Now Mark he strummed with vigor, and Andrew piped likewise
Their fame was downing Brobdinagian Tankards Of Great Size
But one dark night they contended with a lass…
Now they’re smilin’ as she shares First Prize…esThe Faire Clans Verses
For the MacPolks, McCracks, MacComyns, Chaos and Boners…. And any other miscellaneous characters that find their way into my song…Of the Boners he was “Papa” and he had a mighty arm
And when it came to drinking, well he had a certain charm
But a Violet Wench had a cup size oh-so-large
Now he’s a happy Boner living in her charge!Oh Douglas was a Clansman, at the ale he was the best
When racing out to empty kegs, he far surpassed the rest
But came the fateful day and sweet Keri’s challenge met –
Now he’s glad for every “bit” he gets!Now Red was a lad who loved his whiskey neat
At tippin’ back a shot or two, he never could be beat –
That is until the lovely lass named Paulette came along –
Aye, ladies!! Now, he’s singin’ her song!There was a bonnie Scottish lad, they say his name was Guy
And no one could out-do him when the drinkin’ it ran high –
Except when his lady grabs a-hold of his mug –
Kat holds Guy and he holds….. um… her jug!!Oh there was a bonnie lad – Blackrider was his name
Meeting challenge with his lash or his mug – ah! it was his fame!
But then there was the night & that lass with auburn hair
Where she put him – lads, it was a shame! -- or maybe not…A young lad name of Rowan, at the drinking he was bold
At all things that get you high, a blue ribbon he did hold
Till he tried to go against a wench so sweet
Now for the two of them the chapel bells do toll! AwwwOh Wynd he had an arm so great that legends they were told
When come to killing mighty draughts, he stood alone, and bold
But a lass there came to the pub one night
She took him down, now her arm he holds!There was a barbarian and his name it was Black Bear
He thought he was the best of the drinkers there
Till a dark eyed maid at his table sat
Now he's tangled in her long black hair.Oh Hoodoo was a Chieftain and he had a mighty thirst
When it came to drinking, he always finished first
Except for the time a wee lassie drank him down
She got the best of him and not the worstThere was a Dragon Red, and Chaos was his game
The death of every cask he killed but added to his fame
That is until a sweet and lovely lassie topped his count
Now she’s got both the record AND his name!Now, George, he was a kilted lad. T’was said about the town
When it came to lifting mugs, he was the best from all around
Till a lassie all in plaid took him down to the floor
It’s been a week and we haven’t heard a sound! (I have! I have! Me too!)There was a mighty warrior, and Tavish (or Sholo) was his name
Chugging ale with sword in hand was his glory and his fame
Until that fateful night when a raven haired lass
Out-chugged him – Lads, he hasn’t been the same! (grinning all the time…)Oh! the lads of MacPolk at any given time
Are known for their prowess at whiskey, ale and wine
But that only stood till their wenches sweet
Took ‘em down ----- Oh the lads? They’re feelin’ FINE!Now the Champion of the Kilted Set, we know him as Argyle
At finishin’ first in things distilled behind the others filed
Until the day sweet Tracey came along…
She’ll have him beat for a long, long while!Oh! Tom, he was a brawny lad. He could drink more than his share.
When it came to a contest – well it simply wasn’t fair!
But a wee highland lassie with eyes so blue
She out drank him – now he’s saying “I do!” Oooo!Rand, he is a lad so fine, to the Wenches he is bound
At downing cups and mugs and such, his expertise abounds
But lads, you should have seen him when the Wenches topped his load
It seems his “true calling” has been found!Oh, a Wizard of the Laps was he – He knows he is the best
At downing mead and ale and rum, he far outdid the reat
But ask him ‘bout the time when he was all “washed up”
Hey, Violet! --- How’s his chest???Now a Grey Friar in our midst have we. In truth, he is endowed (grin)
And when he takes to drinking, well, he always draws a crowd
Until a saucy lassie brought him down to his knees
Is “Cunning Lingus” church-talk for prayin’ out loud???Now the men of our kingdoms who are drinkers all
When it comes to chuggin' they are champions tall
But the wenches have them beat, hands down, you see
For the cup makes an easy fall!Return to Siobhan's Original Songs
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